Posts by Michael Freed
Do dogs really offer unconditional love?
We are convinced that our dogs love us no matter what. And we believe that because….….they can’t talk. What if they hate the same things about us that everyone else does and they just can’t tell us? They have to listen to us complain, burp, and sing badly all day. And when they try to…Read More
Thanks for the Extra Cleaning Measures?
I appreciate the extra measures that businesses are taking — and telling me that they are taking — to help keep me free from Covid-19. But, some of them are surprising not because of what the business is doing, but because, apparently, they were not doing them before. One airline sent me an email proudly…Read More
Zoom Meetings – Why Do We Look Like We Are in Witness Protection?
Why is there always at least one person in every Zoom meeting who looks like they are either in witness protection or being held hostage?! In some undisclosed location. Garbled voice. Vertical blinds casting shadows ominously across their face. I feel like I should ask them to hold up a newspaper from today as “proof…Read More
Something Political On Which We Can All Agree….
Two of my favorite poets, Alexander Pope and Elvis agree: “….Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.” Or something like that. Anyway, only foolish comics rush in to be political. That said, my purpose here is to unite, not divide. So here goes. I have a pretty broad array of friends, relatives and social…Read More
Two Pandemic Winners – Mouthwash & Breath Mints
Who would have thought that the pandemic would lead to fresher breath? It’s counter-intuitive in a social distancing paradigm in which hygiene seems to be an afterthought. But it’s true. The catalyst is one of the most human of qualities: selfishness! Enter face masks. Now that we are all wearing them, there is no escaping…Read More
Face Masks – The Unintended Consequence for Bank Robbers
The safety precautions against Covid-19 are important. But, like any action, there are unintended consequences. The two factors creating one such unintended consequence are as follows: 1.We have been told to wear face masks of some sort when out in public. 2. Banks are open as an essential function. So, now everyone in a bank…Read More
How to wash my hands for 20 seconds!
We now know that we are supposed to be spending 20 seconds to wash our hands. I’m totally willing to comply. I’m just not sure how best to make use of the 20 seconds. When I finish washing each finger and the fronts and backs of my hands, I have a surplus 9 seconds. What…Read More
The Pandemic and My Elbows
I feel like I owe my elbows an apology. I never knew how much they could do. Now I know I can push an elevator button with my elbows; open a car door; I’ve even removed an eyelash from my daughter’s eye with my elbows — and it’s not as easy as you may think…Read More
Live Comedy-April Fools Day
It’s time to get back to some live comedy, even if we can’t do it with a live audience. So, please join me at noon e.s.t. on April 1st for a live stream of Fools’ Day Comedy Hour with me and the amazing Jenn Weeks. We laugh so we don’t have to cry. We choose…Read More